Calm

So close

Too close

 The street is narrow

Cars, trucks, motorbikes pass

 All rushing, pressing

Hammering through a foggy haze of exhaust fumes

Horns toot, tyres screech

 Tempers flare

Crossing lights change

The throbbing signal telling me

The tide is held

 I cross the road

I am in pain

My discomfort a distorted silent scream

The nearby café looks safe

I find a table deep against the back wall

Steam hisses from the coffee machine

The chair leg screeches on the tiles

Finger nails on chalkboard

My pain spikes

I hardly taste the coffee

I am aware of how odd all this is…

Escaping hospital calm

Magnifies

The madness of everyday normal

A chasm waiting to claim me

The effect of prolonged stress

On my disabling Post-Polio condition

On each and every human condition 

I return to peaceful calm

More aware

Some where

Somehow Life became stressful

Influencing ill health

Increases pain perception

What else does stress do?

More

Too much more

If I allow everything

I stop nothing

I cease to choose

Slow down

What will happen?

If I…

Close the doors

Reclaim the space

Eat at table unhurried

Turn off intrusions

Give time and attention to the Precious

Do I recognise the Precious?

Slow it down

Slow down

Make more choices

Claim Calm

Deliberate

Weigh it carefully

Choose to

Slow movements,

Slow words

Slow thinking

Slow eating

Prioritise, be Aware, discover Calm

I read of monks

Sitting, eyes closed

One sultana in the mouth

Feeling the taste of it

The panic surrounding clutter depletes energy

Carrying too many burdens, worries

Unnecessary baggage, emotional difficulties…

Crowds out calm

Simplify

Fighting for calm Chases it away

Pressing calm drives it further

Like a damp pip between fingers

Slow down, claim space

Relax

Nurturing Gentleness

Watch calm creep close

Like a deer in the forest

Breathe calm into each situation

Smooth out the wave peaks

Settle extremes

Pull them into safe-place

Find recovery here

Mend from the strains of day by day

To find tranquil

No longer accept exhaustion as normal

Panic rises

Threatens

I am aware, determined to Stay balanced

Stepping out again into traffic

I Take An island of Calm

Standing within the Flames

 Watching the Ferments flow around me

I remain unconsumed

Untouched by Chaos

Confident in Calm

Words and Pictures © Denise Stanford 2010

~ by Denise Within the Vine on 25/06/2010.

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