Edge of Darkness – a story
I listened half heartedly to my next client
I was too preoccupied with Jani
I’d seen him only once before.
That first meeting was tense for both of us
Jani presented with a history of drug abuse
From experience it would not be easy
I was not going to take all he said with a grain of salt
He wasn’t typical
The ink he displayed was more artistic than aggressive
His piercings clean, well cared for
I had asked a standard question to which he’d replied
“No I’m not using now. I gave it all away when I gave my life to Jesus.”
As a woman of God I always hoped this was true
He glanced up to see my reaction
Often they didn’t mean it
They just said it thinking Jesus was the key
If only they knew!
Once reassured he told me his story
His had been a thrilling but dangerous journey
Into the arms of God
He was convinced, one day; it would cost him his life
Today had been his second appointment
He was nervous, tense, preoccupied
A slight tremble to his hands raised my concern
Perhaps he was using again?
“They’re after me I know it. They don’t like losing.
But I’ve made up my mind I’m going through with it.
I need you to pray for me, it’s all I ask.”
My commonsense arguments were met with a watery smile
Finally I assured him I would be praying
He held my gaze thanked me and took his leave
I wrote in his notes… Query Paranoia
He’d told me a meeting had been set up for tonight
In a sleazy club on the edge of the city
He would be there even though he knew it was dangerous!
It all sounded so melodramatic, like a fiction
But I could not get it out of my mind
I couldn’t forget the sense of resignation he had
The same kind of distorted peace that came over the suicidal
When they were about to activate their plan
As soon as I could, I finished up at the office
In the op shop, I smiled weakly
Paid for the short skirt and skimpy top
Murmuring something about “…fancy dress, tarts and vicars’’
They smiled back nodding knowingly
Driving into the night
Praying all the way
I had trouble finding the place
Worried I’d be too late
I followed the smell of dope down a dank alleyway
Beefy Bouncers hesitated as I stood at the door
I dropped a threat in colourful tones
Then a name Jani had mentioned
They stepped aside and let me in
The darkness was deep
Music pulsed
Loud with a primal beat
Hot air thick with smoke and expletives
Dancers entranced by the beat
Stirred by urgent angry voices
Suddenly something changed
All hell let loose as the huddle was jostled
A thick, dark, muscular body moved in as one
Then scattered
Fists, elbows, blows exchanged
Shouts, commands, threats, screams
Police began colliding with everyone
I was pushed, sent spinning to the floor
Music was silenced
Darkness banished
There through a forest of legs
I gazed into the pale face of Jani as he was dropped
They stepped on him
Kicked him
Stumbled over him
I crawled to his space and cradled him
Crooning as I stroked his damp hair
Sightless eyes stared back as blood, warm and sticky seeped into my hand
The wound was tiny; the thrust of a long delicate blade had been dealt
With surgical precision
Straight through the heart
He was dead
As the room cleared
I sat leaden in a haze of disbelief
A strong hand gripped my shoulder
A voice nearby said
“She’s not part of this, leave her.”
How was I not part of this?
I hadn’t stopped it
It was wrong so wrong
I should have tried harder
Urged louder
Been stronger
The detective crouched beside me
Searching for Jani’s absent pulse
My anger welled up within me and over flowed
“Don’t judge me, how do you know I had no part in this?”
I met his gaze with Defiance; tears stinging my eyes
I felt so much a part of the injustice
The detective moved his head
A slight chin lift
That caused me to glance behind
There in an arc surrounding us
Stood a Radiant Angel army
Strong men-like beings their weapons at rest
Victorious, Unbeaten and Powerful
Endowed with the Glory of God
“They are with you I believe,”
I am in awe
Silenced
Corrected
I look down at Jani
Brave young warrior who had given his all to expose the evil he had escaped
I spoke truth into the moment
“They are with us”
Edge of Darkness first published on Faithwriters 2008
rewritten 2010 © Denise Stanford
Within the Vine 